Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Rub A Dub Dub, I Finally Fit In The Tub.... Another Small Milestone
Since we are on the subject of fitting into things, I also took a trip through a clothes box (ones that were too small) and found that one of my favorite pairs of shorts fit now. They are a size 26 and I have been hanging on to them for at least 6 years. You heard me right, lol, I have hung on to these bad boys for a very long time. Thankfully they did not dry rot like my swim suits. Now I just got to get up the nerve to wear shorts again.
Lately I have been thinking a lot about how I can change my perception of myself. I know I have talked about it before, but even though I have lost 170 pounds, I find that I still think about myself as being 460 pounds. Being over weight for so long has forced me to adapt to and avoid certain situations. This is turning out to be somewhat of a bravery test for me. I worry very much about fitting in chairs, even though I fit in most now. I worry about going to restaurants and theaters for fear that their seating will not be adequate. I worry about trying on clothes that look smaller than the clothes I wore before. I worry about what people might say if the "fat girl" goes walking by, even though most people don't look at me the way they used to. I worry about wearing those shorts, even though I've been told that they look nice. In the past few days I have caught glimpses of myself in the mirror and stupidly had to ask... Is that me?? It can't be. It is... Oh wow! I worry most of all about identifying myself as a smaller person, especially when I reach goal. Will I know how to act... Is this normal?? I looked this skewed idea up on the internet, hoping to make myself feel better and I succeeded. I found a piece on MSNBC on just that, a story of a lady who is going through the same thing. Apparently it is pretty common to have this distorted self image after losing a lot of weight. I don't feel so alone now. I need to find some way of changing that perception. I have not made it that far in the thought process yet, so any suggestions would be great.
I will leave you now with a picture of our very first tomato (from our garden).... It was sooo yummy and sweet. I have a new recipe that I will post on Thursday. Hope you all have a wonderful and amazing 4th of July Holiday!