Its Working.... and a Brief Update... 256.4

Hello everyone, the computer is up and running again. YAY!! I don't have much time at the moment because I owe you all a BIG update. But for now, just wanted to let you all know that I will be writing again very soon. PS. the scale says this morning that I am 256.4... only 6.4 away from my September goal. Feeling confident that I will make it. This also officially marks a mile stone I have lost 203.6 pounds in just over a year.  See you all soon!

I Am So Sorry, But Still Alive

hey guys... i am still alive, computer has been down. i am trying to do this from my phone so punctuation and caps are out the window. i miss blogging but will hopefully be able to again real soon. for those of you wondering   i am still doing good, last weigh in  found me at 263 down 197 pounds from a year ago.  missing you all! will also comment on your comments  as soon as i can.

276 - Weekly Report (3 days later).... And My Little Experiment

I am late again in posting an update, surprise surprise... I was however, on time with the weigh in itself which was 276 pounds on Friday morning. Only 26 pounds to go until I reach my first huge goal!!

Ok, I know I kind of left you all hanging with an update on my mom (another crazy week)... I am happy to report that this surgery was her best yet from start to finish. Normally when she has surgery she requires several blood transfusions, is out of it when she comes out, and can't hardly move for days. When they wheeled her out of recovery this time, she was alert, her face had great color, she required no blood, and was cracking jokes about finding someone who had the opposite side amputated so they could share shoes. Just a day after surgery they had her up out of bed and despite being right side dominant, now without a right leg, she moved better than she has for a year. She is now at a rehab center where she will learn how to function with her new body, and we couldn't be happier. I am sure that there will be trials ahead but, nothing compared to what she has already gone through. Honestly she should have done this a long time ago. I am excited to see my mom get her life back, and proud of her for making such a hard decision. Thank you all for your prayers, I firmly believe that without them or the blessing and Temple prayers, things would not have turned out so well, so THANK YOU!!!

Do you guys remember when I talked about my pig out day I was planning for when I was under 279?? Well... This weekend it happened, and I'd like to share my experience with it. At 10:00 a.m. Saturday morning, we ventured out to begin this day. I had not eaten fast food (other than Subway or Papa Murphy's "diet" menu) in a year. The first place I chose to start my adventure was Apollo Burger. I ordered a mushroom swiss burger meal, could not even eat the whole thing, only about half. While it was very tasty and everything I had hoped for, I couldn't help but notice how sluggish I felt afterwards. Normally when I eat I get energy, but not this time.... I only wanted a nap. Our second stop of the day was at the New China Buffet, I used to love that place and have wanted to go there for so very long... We get there at around 2:00 p.m. and find that all of the food had been sitting under the lights for a long time, the food was pretty gross. I barely finished a small plate and again was full beyond recognition. In the past I was able to eat 2-3 plates without even thinking about it. I am glad the food was gross and my stomach was done. I was then left with the feeling of having a rock in my stomach. We went fishing after this and I had brought along a bag of Jalapeno Cheetos, another one of my old time snacks. Normally I would have eaten a bag in one sitting, usually in about 15 minutes. I nibbled on them and this lasted about 4 hours, I shared with my sister and between the two of us ate about half of the bag. Our last stop of the day (not really a stop) was pizza delivery from Pizza Hut... I love this place, or at least used to. I had 2 slices of pizza, 3 chicken wings, and a bread stick. I don't know if this day was the Lord's way of saying you don't need this, but this place was gross too! Not at all what I had remembered. I capped off the night with a Twix candy bar, and not a minute after I ate it the regret set in. I felt so sick to my stomach, and this continued through Sunday. I was so happy that it was fast Sunday because I don't think I could have ate if I wanted to. I am so happy to be back to my regular food today. I never realized how bad junk food made me feel until Saturday. It is evident that the stuff is toxic. I can testify to that as I was not feeling right from the beginning. Anything that has the power to make you sick for 24 hours can not be good for you. Am I glad that I decided to do this? Yes, because it showed me that I do not really miss this stuff, not sure how I ever ate like that, it used to be a daily thing (only much more). No wonder I never felt good. It also showed me the difference between the types of "fuel" I give my body. I choose to have energy and not feel like a slug. I choose to eat healthy. Am I saying that I will never do it again??  I don't plan on it, but I am sure there will come a day when I forget this little lesson, and will crave something stupid again, but it won't be for a VERY long time. The rest of this week will be spent trying to make up for my very crappy day, I am hoping to at least break even on the weight. I don't really expect much of a loss on Friday, if any, but am hoping I can prevent a gain.

Well, I had better get going, I will be back tomorrow or Wednesday for another update on some future plans that are in the works and a new recipe. I hope you all had a great week last week and will have an even better one this week.

277.2 - Weekly Report

That's right folks, a big week for the scale. I knew I was bloated last week lol. Lost 4.4 pounds this week leaving 27.2 pounds to reach my first BIG goal of 250. Originally I had hoped to reach it by the end of September but it may be close. I have to lose a little over 3 pounds each week to do it, it is possible but likely that I will not make it until the first week of October. That is ok, but I really am going to push for September.

It has now been 11 months since my journey began, and I could not be happier. When I first started I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would be sitting here nearly a year later having lost 182 pounds. Some days it does not seem like such a big deal and then I have days like these where I reflect and it is a huge deal. I have lost a full grown man in less than a year.... Crazy!

I know that it is not yet August, but soon enough... I am ready to set some new goals to help rejuvenate my journey. I have been doing this for so long that it has become somewhat routine, and at times feels like I am not doing my best. I was doing Zumba quite regularly and then I hurt my knee. Picked it back up and then hurt my back (moving furniture). My back feels better now and me knee not too many problems so I feel it is time to pick that back up again and leave the excuses behind. I know I made that a goal in my "Slacker" post but to be honest it was an epic fail because it never happened. My goals for August I will make simple 1) Exercise on purpose 4 out of 7 days 2) Drink 8 glasses of water 5 out of 7 days. Seems easy enough, and I know I can do it!

I have not posted since my last report, so I will fill you in a little on this week. Saturday I had an amazing day with my mom, "sister", and youngest daughter. We had a real girls day. We started out at the beauty shop to get our hair cut and styled. My hair that used to reach my butt is now at my bra line. I love it!! It is bouncy and full of life now. We followed up the haircut with lunch at Denny's and then shopping. I used to hate shopping but it is fun! Tried on new clothes and found that I am really close to a size 24 jean, can get them on and buttoned but that darn zipper won't go up lol. I did get something to wear at the swimming pool though, a 2x bottom and a 1x top. I also got a new CD, Kenny Chesney.

This week at home has been real busy, my eldest decided that she wanted to move out, so I've been helping with that and then of course re situating the room for my youngest. Becky is over the moon that she has her own room now, in fact it's all she talks about. She can't wait to have a sleep over in her very own room. The moment is kind of bitter sweet for me as I am a little sad that Sarah is moving because I know we won't see each other as often and am a little afraid of what she will do now that she has no one watching her every move lol. I will admit though after taking a deep breath it is nice because now I can't see everything she is doing. I just have to hope that I taught her well enough that she will stay out of any major trouble. I miss her!

My family needs big prayers this coming week from anyone who believes in the power of them. My mom is having surgery on Monday to have her leg amputated. Her health has not been so great for a very long time. She has been mostly chair bound and on oxygen for the last 7 years or so due to problems with her back, neck, knees, and COPD. She developed type 2 diabetes in the meantime, making it hard for her to fight infection. Last year she underwent surgery for her back and neck which went amazingly well, and regained movement in her leg which they said would not happen. Once she was up and walking around a bit more the need for knee replacement was obvious, so last August she had her knee replacement done. It was a fail, she got a terrible infection and they had to remove the replacement, leaving in it's spot a cement block and a broken femur. When the infection had finally cleared they put in a new replacement and just a short time later, we were facing the same infectious problem. This time it took 3 surgeries just to get her to the point were she could come home, and again she is stuck with the cement block. We are now a total of 6 surgeries into the knee replacement and are being told that she is a carrier of infection and most likely it will return when they put in a new knee. Following her last surgery she almost left this world, her heart and lungs stopped 3 times during the night. She does not want to go through this again and I do not blame her, so she opted to have the amputation, which they would have done if this attempt failed anyway. I am grateful that this should be a cure to to problem and with a good prosthetic, she should be up and walking again. I am worried though because of her health and her state of mind. She has been through sooooo much in the last year, I guess I am afraid that she'll decide she's tired. No one could blame her. I am hoping though that my mom will continue to be tough and will make it through with no further problems. BIG prayers and positive vibes her way please.

Anyway, that is my week at a glance and my reason for not blogging as often as I should. I did get some more great recipes for you though. Enjoy!

Teriyaki Chicken

This is a horrible picture, but not indicative of the flavor, this dish is amazing!

Pita Pizza

281.6 - Weekly Report

I wake up this morning to find I have a visitor, and that I am now bloated... Thinking wow, this is weigh in day, that's going to be unfortunate. I get out my trusty scale and begin the weigh in process, zero out the scale, use the little girls room, and make sure I am wearing as little as possible, fingers crossed I step on the scale and...... Thank the good Lord, even bloated I weigh in at 281.6 for a loss of 2.4 pounds this week. I only need to lose 1.6 more pounds to bring my total loss to -180, I am only 31.6 pounds away from my first major hurdle (250). Wow, that is a lot of numbers LOL.

I have made a decision, since I have been feeling the fast food cravings for quite awhile now, I know that it is only a matter of time before I cave. Rather than caving, I am going to give myself permission when I reach 279 to have one day that doesn't count in my mind. I know me, and I know that if I cave without permission, I will sneak it. From whom I don't know but I will sneak it and hide it and then it will become a habit. This I do not want because I REFUSE to turn back after coming this far. It has been nearly a year since I have had any fast food besides Subway or Papa Murphy's DeLight. I am going to heed this warning and just give myself a day. Why you ask am I waiting to get to 279?? It's simple. You can't have a day like this without some sort of consequence, and I know that the consequence will come in the form of a gain. I am giving myself a 1 pound buffer so that I don't go over 280. Another consequence I am sure will be feeling sick, my body does not handle junk food the way it used to, particularly grease. I am sure once I have this day, I will enjoy it at the time, but when it is all said and done, and I am sick to my stomach, I will remember why I do not eat fast food anymore. LOL

Did you know that it takes 3500 calories to make a pound? I will use myself as an example... I burn approximately 2494 calories a day, now that is if I laid in bed all day. To gain a pound in a day I would have to consume 3500 calories more than what I burn (5994). Or over the course of a week I would have to consume 500 more than what I burn every day (2994). Given this math, gaining a pound really does take some effort. That would be a heck of a lot of calories to eat in a day. I am sure my little day venture will equal at least a pound but I have 6 more days in the week to make up for it :)

I am off to start my busy weekend, but.... I have another yummy recipe to share. I apologize for the quality of photos, I only have 2 sets of plates lol....but you get the idea and the food is amazing!!

Spicy Pecan Crusted Chicken

Journaling

I have been wanting to write about this for a very long time, as it has been key to my success. Journaling is a word that a lot of people cringe at, for many different reasons. Some of the reasons that people have given me are: 1. Afraid to see what they are eating. Here's the beauty, weather or not you are aware of what you are putting in your body, not writing it down does not take it away. If you ate it you ate it. 2. It takes too much time. Losing weight takes a lot of time too, perhaps if I had journaled when my doctors told me to 20 years ago, I would not have a need for a "my journey" blog. 3. I just don't see how it would help. Seeing what you put in your body creates both an awareness, and accountability factor.

When I first began my journey, I was not journaling, and not aware of what I was still putting in my body even though I had cut out a lot of things. For instance, liquid... The silent diet killer. Many of us do not think of liquid calories because we are not eating them. I was definitely in this category, I had cut out most junk food but was hanging on to my soda. I did not think about the calories in this because I was only focused on food. Another silent diet killer, spices & condiments. There are a lot of spices and condiments that do contain calories, fat, sodium, and other things we don't normally think about. It wasn't until I began journaling that I became aware of this. I was finally able to see something that I could not deny or justify, it was what it was. Now that I could see what exactly I was doing to myself it made it easier to see where I needed to adjust. To this day it still helps, because lets face it... sometimes we think things are a good idea, until hind sight smacks us in the face. That is ok, because once we've been smacked  we usually won't make the same mistake twice, at least I hope.

I am a firm believer that journaling is essential in any lifestyle, not just for those trying to lose weight. I think that weather you are trying to lose, gain, maintain, or just be healthy, you should know what you are eating. I will probably journal until the day I die. Now lets not be ridiculous, there are times when journaling is not really feasible, i.e. parties, buffet's, etc... it is nearly impossible in these situations because you don't know exactly what went into a dish or how it was prepared. Sometimes and I stress sometimes ,it is ok to have a day when you don't log (vacation), one day did not make anyone fat or unhealthy, it is ok to live a little.

I keep my food journal on the computer at Calorie Count, I like using this form of journaling because it has other tools to further help me determine the quality of my nutrition. It gives the lows and highs of foods, and also helps me know if I am consuming enough or too much of a certain nutrient.  In addition it helps me to find info on certain foods that may not come with a nutrition label (produce, and meat). There have been times when I could not get to the computer and a piece of paper did just fine. My grandmother for instance, does all of hers in a notebook. She says it is fun to her, kind of like a little game. I have to agree with her, I spend my calories like I spend money, I want the most bang for my buck! Contrary to what people think, journaling does not have to be torturous or boring.

These are just my thoughts and feelings on the subject, I would never want to derail anything that may be working for someone else. I do feel that no matter what diet you are on or what lifestyle changes you are making, that journaling is just another essential piece of the puzzle. Awareness is power in this battle. Good luck to all of you, no matter what your journey may be, or the method you choose, anything is possible.

In closing, I have another recipe for you all... have a great week & ENJOY!

Greek Beef & Orzo

284 - Late Weekly Update

I know, I know, I said I would try not to be such a slacker, and here I am 4 days late on my update. Go on... Shake your head and tsk tsk.. Ok, now that we have that done and over with, my weigh in was good, I lost 1.8 pounds last week. It was a smaller loss but a loss at any rate, so I am happy with that.

Had another busy weekend, on Friday my youngest did a little performance for her last day of summer school and we had a lot of fun watching her. They did the hokey poky, and the chicken dance (this was adorable). Our mandatory grocery trip also took place this day, and though I am finally beginning to like shopping, I must admit, I don't think I will get over the crowdedness of a Wal Mart shopping center. I arrive in the best mood and by the time I leave I am ready to enter the psych ward. I don't do well with crowds especially rude ones. I should really work on this but... there is nothing more aggravating than being cut off at every pass. I'm not kidding, if half of the people drive like they walk, I am frightened. Later in the evening we attended my little sisters birthday party (she's 17 now) and had a blast. We sang karaoke and hung out. My mom and I even planned out a great girls day for next weekend. Going to the hair salon, lunch, and a little shopping. I haven't had my hair cut in a very long time (almost a year) it is very long (to my butt) and curly, unless I straighten it. I want a cute do, not that you can see a style in my curly hair, but when it is straight I want something cute. Anyone have any suggestions? I don't want to go short, but am willing to lose 6-8 inches.

Saturday was fishing, we woke up early and picked up a buddy to go fishing with. The first place we went was a dud. We sat there for nearly 2 hours and not a bite, so we packed up, and wouldn't ya know.... As soon as we started heading for the car, the fish started jumping. We continued to our new location anyway and am glad we did. I lost count of how many we caught, but we ended up with 5 large catfish that we could keep. I am looking forward to cooking that.

Sunday was church, and the day that we got our family pictures back, and dealt with family drama. Church went really well. I am the 2nd counselor of the Young Women, and was assigned to teach a lesson on forgiveness. The irony of this will come into play in a minute. We had a new young woman so it was nice to be able to actually do a lesson. We are from a branch and not a ward (not enough people) so generally we do not have anyone on Sunday (for young women). Anyway, I get home and find out that two of my siblings have completely thrown me under the ex's bus. Saying things that were so far from the truth it's not even funny. I felt very betrayed, I won't get into any details but I was feeling so angry, and thoughts about the two of them were thoughts that I should not be having. I went and talked about this to a church leader and let him know how ugly I was feeling on the inside. This is not me, I am a nice person, and feelings of hatred are not typical for me. I thought to myself, how ironic, I just did a lesson on forgiveness and here I am feeling that I will never be able to forgive these two. I feel better after talking to our church leader, I don't think I am quite at the forgiveness stage as I am still really hurt. But, I do think there is a reason that I was assigned this particular lesson. The Lord works in mysterious ways, and may not be able to or choose to take away a certain trial in our lives, but he certainly makes sure we have the tools to deal with them. Someday I will be able to forgive them, but I do not know if I will ever be able to let them in my life.  On a lighter note, here is one of our family pics.....

I also have another recipe to leave you with, and a new blog entry to look forward to (Journaling).....

Chicken & Black Bean Burrito