Journaling

I have been wanting to write about this for a very long time, as it has been key to my success. Journaling is a word that a lot of people cringe at, for many different reasons. Some of the reasons that people have given me are: 1. Afraid to see what they are eating. Here's the beauty, weather or not you are aware of what you are putting in your body, not writing it down does not take it away. If you ate it you ate it. 2. It takes too much time. Losing weight takes a lot of time too, perhaps if I had journaled when my doctors told me to 20 years ago, I would not have a need for a "my journey" blog. 3. I just don't see how it would help. Seeing what you put in your body creates both an awareness, and accountability factor.

When I first began my journey, I was not journaling, and not aware of what I was still putting in my body even though I had cut out a lot of things. For instance, liquid... The silent diet killer. Many of us do not think of liquid calories because we are not eating them. I was definitely in this category, I had cut out most junk food but was hanging on to my soda. I did not think about the calories in this because I was only focused on food. Another silent diet killer, spices & condiments. There are a lot of spices and condiments that do contain calories, fat, sodium, and other things we don't normally think about. It wasn't until I began journaling that I became aware of this. I was finally able to see something that I could not deny or justify, it was what it was. Now that I could see what exactly I was doing to myself it made it easier to see where I needed to adjust. To this day it still helps, because lets face it... sometimes we think things are a good idea, until hind sight smacks us in the face. That is ok, because once we've been smacked  we usually won't make the same mistake twice, at least I hope.

I am a firm believer that journaling is essential in any lifestyle, not just for those trying to lose weight. I think that weather you are trying to lose, gain, maintain, or just be healthy, you should know what you are eating. I will probably journal until the day I die. Now lets not be ridiculous, there are times when journaling is not really feasible, i.e. parties, buffet's, etc... it is nearly impossible in these situations because you don't know exactly what went into a dish or how it was prepared. Sometimes and I stress sometimes ,it is ok to have a day when you don't log (vacation), one day did not make anyone fat or unhealthy, it is ok to live a little.

I keep my food journal on the computer at Calorie Count, I like using this form of journaling because it has other tools to further help me determine the quality of my nutrition. It gives the lows and highs of foods, and also helps me know if I am consuming enough or too much of a certain nutrient.  In addition it helps me to find info on certain foods that may not come with a nutrition label (produce, and meat). There have been times when I could not get to the computer and a piece of paper did just fine. My grandmother for instance, does all of hers in a notebook. She says it is fun to her, kind of like a little game. I have to agree with her, I spend my calories like I spend money, I want the most bang for my buck! Contrary to what people think, journaling does not have to be torturous or boring.

These are just my thoughts and feelings on the subject, I would never want to derail anything that may be working for someone else. I do feel that no matter what diet you are on or what lifestyle changes you are making, that journaling is just another essential piece of the puzzle. Awareness is power in this battle. Good luck to all of you, no matter what your journey may be, or the method you choose, anything is possible.

In closing, I have another recipe for you all... have a great week & ENJOY!

Greek Beef & Orzo

284 - Late Weekly Update

I know, I know, I said I would try not to be such a slacker, and here I am 4 days late on my update. Go on... Shake your head and tsk tsk.. Ok, now that we have that done and over with, my weigh in was good, I lost 1.8 pounds last week. It was a smaller loss but a loss at any rate, so I am happy with that.

Had another busy weekend, on Friday my youngest did a little performance for her last day of summer school and we had a lot of fun watching her. They did the hokey poky, and the chicken dance (this was adorable). Our mandatory grocery trip also took place this day, and though I am finally beginning to like shopping, I must admit, I don't think I will get over the crowdedness of a Wal Mart shopping center. I arrive in the best mood and by the time I leave I am ready to enter the psych ward. I don't do well with crowds especially rude ones. I should really work on this but... there is nothing more aggravating than being cut off at every pass. I'm not kidding, if half of the people drive like they walk, I am frightened. Later in the evening we attended my little sisters birthday party (she's 17 now) and had a blast. We sang karaoke and hung out. My mom and I even planned out a great girls day for next weekend. Going to the hair salon, lunch, and a little shopping. I haven't had my hair cut in a very long time (almost a year) it is very long (to my butt) and curly, unless I straighten it. I want a cute do, not that you can see a style in my curly hair, but when it is straight I want something cute. Anyone have any suggestions? I don't want to go short, but am willing to lose 6-8 inches.

Saturday was fishing, we woke up early and picked up a buddy to go fishing with. The first place we went was a dud. We sat there for nearly 2 hours and not a bite, so we packed up, and wouldn't ya know.... As soon as we started heading for the car, the fish started jumping. We continued to our new location anyway and am glad we did. I lost count of how many we caught, but we ended up with 5 large catfish that we could keep. I am looking forward to cooking that.

Sunday was church, and the day that we got our family pictures back, and dealt with family drama. Church went really well. I am the 2nd counselor of the Young Women, and was assigned to teach a lesson on forgiveness. The irony of this will come into play in a minute. We had a new young woman so it was nice to be able to actually do a lesson. We are from a branch and not a ward (not enough people) so generally we do not have anyone on Sunday (for young women). Anyway, I get home and find out that two of my siblings have completely thrown me under the ex's bus. Saying things that were so far from the truth it's not even funny. I felt very betrayed, I won't get into any details but I was feeling so angry, and thoughts about the two of them were thoughts that I should not be having. I went and talked about this to a church leader and let him know how ugly I was feeling on the inside. This is not me, I am a nice person, and feelings of hatred are not typical for me. I thought to myself, how ironic, I just did a lesson on forgiveness and here I am feeling that I will never be able to forgive these two. I feel better after talking to our church leader, I don't think I am quite at the forgiveness stage as I am still really hurt. But, I do think there is a reason that I was assigned this particular lesson. The Lord works in mysterious ways, and may not be able to or choose to take away a certain trial in our lives, but he certainly makes sure we have the tools to deal with them. Someday I will be able to forgive them, but I do not know if I will ever be able to let them in my life.  On a lighter note, here is one of our family pics.....

I also have another recipe to leave you with, and a new blog entry to look forward to (Journaling).....

Chicken & Black Bean Burrito

New Recipe

I don't have a lot of time today, but wanted to share this great meal with you.... See you tomorrow for the weekly report.

Portobello "Philly Cheese Steak" & Baked Fries

Confessions of a Slacker....

Ok, so I have been slacking a little on this blog and commenting on the blogs I follow . Mind you, it has not been intentional, things have just been crazy busy this week. I am still trying to figure out if I a coming or going at this point. I think that this summer is going to be quite full of busy, so what I need to do is sit down and figure out how to fit every little thing I want to do into 24 little hours. Seriously as much as I will probably regret saying this, I kind of wish that the day was a little longer just so that I could do everything. It seems the older I get, the shorter the days become. Does anyone else feel this way?? Today I will commit to blogging at least 3 days a week, and commenting on the blogs I follow the same 3 days.

I have also been slacking in regard to exercise. I haven't done my Zumba in about 2 or 3 weeks, gosh that's bad I can't even remember. I have been doing plenty to stay active, but I really need to get back to the on purpose exercise. I felt so much better when I was doing it. Really there is no excuse, just my lack of motivation. Time is only a small piece because honestly I could probably make time. Today I will commit to making time for Zumba, or any other form of on purpose exercise at least 3 days a week.

I have been slacking a tad on my nutrition, I am still within my calorie range but am not eating the things that I know are the best for me. Especially where snacks are concerned. Too much on the go, and being above 100 degrees lately I have fallen victim to the Ice Cream Monster. Today I will commit to only eating Ice Cream on the weekends, instead I will eat my much more nutritious yogurt creamies when I am craving the monster.

Whew.... now that I got that all out on the table, I feel much better, and feel it is time to move on. I had the best experience on Friday.  We were shopping at a local thrift shop for some work shoes my hubby needed. I decided that I would just go see what they had on the rack for me (usually nothing). To my surprise I found some jeans that were a size 26, decided to try them on not thinking I would have any luck... Well, they fit!!! This excited me so, because my clothes are getting too big at such an alarming rate, the thought of spending $30 on a pair of jeans that would only fit for a month or two was kind of frightening. I have decided that from now on (at least until I can get 6 months out of my clothes) I am going to buy my pants at the thrift store. They look brand new and are only a fraction of the cost. I got 2 pair for $9. This is not the most exciting part though... When we were checking out, the woman at the register looks at me and says "I don't mean to be rude, but how much weight have you lost?" I was shocked that she knew and wondered how she knew, but proudly I told her 174 pounds. Her eyes welled up with tears and she told me that I was beautiful and so inspiring to her. She asked how I did it because she has been trying without any luck. I talked to her for a few minutes and then gave her my phone number. This is exactly what I hoped being open about my journey would accomplish. I want to give hope to those who feel that it is not possible, to let them know that they are not alone. I really hope that she uses that phone number, I am looking forward to supporting her in any way that I can. On the downside, I now know that other people can see my sagging skin, that is the only way I can figure that she knew I lost weight. (you can't see it but I am frowning at that thought).

Okay, so to not overwhelm you with all the thoughts floating through my head, I am going to end here for now. As promised though, I have another tasty recipe to share with you.... Anyone craving a healthier Asian dish???

Asian Beef & Peas
So So Good

285.8 - Weekly Report

Woo Hoo! 285.8 this morning, only 35.8 pounds away from reaching my first major goal! This brings my total to -174.2 pounds. I am so excited, this week was definitely kind to me, I was only expecting about a 1.8 pound loss. I am not going to question it though, my mamma taught me to never question a blessing, just accept and appreciate it!

This week was a good week all in all, though I feel a little like I have lacked motivation, at least for exercise. I am glad that it was not reflected in my weight loss. I need to dig deep again and find the motivation I had for Zumba. I have decided to take on the 5 day challenge again, alternating between Zumba and calisthenics. I will begin this on Monday. I am proud of how the 4th of July celebration at the park went though. I had planned out my menu the night before. It was really hard watching everyone walk around with nachos, cotton candy, fries, kettle corn, and stuff like that. But I did it, I stayed at the park for nearly 12 hours and only ate what I had planned. The fireworks were amazing, and we had fun hanging out.

I promised another recipe, we fixed it up last night, and it was really good... Here's what we had:

Chili Garlic Glazed Salmon
This whole meal under 200 calories and very filling!

New Recipe.... Yum

Hello everyone, just checking in to share a new recipe with you guys. Will be back tomorrow with my weekly update, weigh in, and a new recipe. Hope y'all had a great 4th of July.

Mexican Beef & Bean Stuffed Peppers

Rub A Dub Dub, I Finally Fit In The Tub.... Another Small Milestone

Mini Mile-Stone

I know this doesn't seem like a big deal to a lot of people but for me it is huge. I have not been able to take a bath in my own tub for so long I can not remember. Getting in and out of any tub was a major feat. I love baths and this was hard. I am happy to say that I was able to take a lovely bath and getting out was a cinch! Showers are fine and dandy but there is nothing like relaxing in a nice tub of hot water.... Calgon, you can take me away now! P.S. The tub in the picture is not mine, but I wish it were.
Since we are on the subject of fitting into things, I also took a trip through a clothes box (ones that were too small) and found that one of my favorite pairs of shorts fit now. They are a size 26 and I have been hanging on to them for at least 6 years. You heard me right, lol, I have hung on to these bad boys for a very long time. Thankfully they did not dry rot like my swim suits. Now I just got to get up the nerve to wear shorts again.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about how I can change my perception of myself. I know I have talked about it before, but even though I have lost 170 pounds, I find that I still think about myself as being 460 pounds. Being over weight for so long has forced me to adapt to and avoid certain situations. This is turning out to be somewhat of a bravery test for me. I worry very much about fitting in chairs, even though I fit in most now. I worry about going to restaurants and theaters for fear that their seating will not be adequate. I worry about trying on clothes that look smaller than the clothes I wore before. I worry about what people might say if the "fat girl" goes walking by, even though most people don't look at me the way they used to. I worry about wearing those shorts, even though I've been told that they look nice. In the past few days I have caught glimpses of myself in the mirror and stupidly had to ask... Is that me?? It can't be. It is... Oh wow! I worry most of all about identifying myself as a smaller person, especially when I reach goal. Will I know how to act... Is this normal?? I looked this skewed idea up on the internet, hoping to make myself feel better and I succeeded. I found a piece on MSNBC on just that, a story of a lady who is going through the same thing. Apparently it is pretty common to have this distorted self image after losing a lot of weight. I don't feel so alone now. I need to find some way of changing that perception. I have not made it that far in the thought process yet, so any suggestions would be great.

I will leave you now with a picture of our very first tomato (from our garden).... It was sooo yummy and sweet. I have a new recipe that I will post on Thursday. Hope you all have a wonderful and amazing 4th of July Holiday!