Random Thoughts...

     So, over the last few days I have been having some random thoughts, bear with me this post will probably be just as random. And weigh in is tomorrow so you will be hearing from me again then too :) .
     My hubby (Daniel) and I were talking last night about goals, and I was really quite surprised to see just how close I really am. I know how far I have come because I weigh in every week but until you put time stamps on things it is really hard to put things into perspective. I am about 60 pounds away from my first BIG goal of 250 pounds (I will have a more accurate number tomorrow when I weigh in). Assuming that I stay with my current trend of about 3 pounds per week for the rest of May, that will put me at about 301 by June 1. I am going to push for 299 so I had better step up the Zumba LOL! If I can manage to lose 15 pounds a month for June, July, and August that will land me about 255 pounds at the end of August... Only 5 pounds away from my goal, and will have been 1 year since my journey began. That is 205 pounds in a year. OMG that's like a full grown man! I can do this, I just need to stay focused!
     A lap top for my lap!!!! Yes people you are hearing me right... Who would have thought that a lap top would fit so comfortably on my lap? Laugh if you will but this is just one of the many things I have not had the luxury of doing until now. My belly has always covered my legs while sitting, and somewhat even while standing. I love it when I have small victories like this! Chairs were another victory, often times I would find myself standing when offered a seat just to avoid the embarrassment of possibly not fitting, getting stuck, or worse... breaking it! We just got my first camp chair a month ago, I have been sitting on buckets because the weight limit of anything sold at Wal-Mart is typically only rated for 300 pounds. It has been real nice being able to fish comfortably. I have had fear of chairs for quite some time now, it all began about 14 years ago, I think I was 19... Anyway my mom had taken me to Dee's for lunch and when we were seated (at a booth) I had to squeeze myself into it. The fit was so tight I could barely eat my lunch because there wasn't room for the food. I sat there humiliated as my mom looked at me with the saddest eyes. I have avoided booths, some chairs, and certain restaurants ever since. I wonder if I will ever get over that fear.....
     I read a news article about obesity in Utah when I was at the laundromat on Tuesday.... They are predicting that by 2030 42% of the U.S will be in the obese category. This article can be found here http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/54096196-78/obesity-health-utah-percent.html.csp .  As someone who has been not only in the obese category but the morbidly obese category for most of her life, this makes me sad. I wish that there was a way to fast forward the clocks and show people just how hard it will be to function in everyday life, how hard it will be to lose the weight once you are there, and the physical          abnormalities when you finally do decide to lose the weight. Before I started my journey I could barely function, there were some mornings I would get out of bed and be near tears the moment I set my foot on the floor. Many people will remember how often I had to sit, even to cook a meal. Now that the weight is dropping so is my skin. I see parts of my body that would be fairly thin if it weren't for the several inches of skin hanging off of them. If I had only listened when I was younger and my skin were more elastic. If only I had cared as much then as I do now, I would not have to struggle so much with my appearance. I have missed out on a lot of my life because of my weight. By the grace of God, I am being given another chance at life. I hope sharing my story will help keep me inspired and inspire those who may be struggling with the same issues.
     On a lighter note, my vegetable garden is coming in well! For those of you who don't know, I live in an apartment and am trying to grow veggies in pots on my back porch. I will post pics soon... We have actual tomatoes and bell peppers growing on the plants now and odd as it may sound they are so cute!
     Okay, I imagine it is time to stop with the randomness and come to a close. I've still got to log the rest of my calories for the day.  Hope you all are having a fabulous week! See you tomorrow for weigh in results!